Your 20s – a time for discovering who you are, no doubt making some bad decisions, finding your passions and learning new skills. It can be an eye-opening and exciting time in your life, overwhelming on occasion and confusing as well – but I got all that and much more when I spontaneously conceived twins just 3 days after my 20th birthday.
I remember making a joke to my partner; “You know, twins run in my family.” I taunted, as I mentioned how quickly my symptoms had set in. “Ha, right.” It became an inside joke for the next three weeks, but eventually for me it became a bit more – I called it my twin-tuition.
My partner was waiting in the car – COVID ensures no partners in the room, unfortunately – so I had the job of relaying this information to him. I handed him the scan, with the two babies side by side, labeled Twin A and Twin B. “You have just doubled our costs” was his initial response, followed by saying I had brought a fake scan with me to trick him.
It didn’t feel very real at the beginning – but soon enough I was going to appointments every week, high risk this and blood test that, talk of c-sections and NICUs, massage your perineum (my what?!), eat dates and sleep on your left side, are they identical? Were they planned? How can I get twins? You’re so lucky – you’re so unlucky.
Being pregnant with twins in your 20s: It was a lot, and I often found myself overwhelmed. Publically I appeared very confident, maternal and ready, happy-go-lucky and take it as it comes, but every so often when alone I would have a tiny little panic. What if I couldn’t do it? What if I didn’t want to do it? And most importantly, what if I couldn’t love them both the same? Am I too young?
And all the symptoms certainly didn’t help my mood. Constipation, hemorrhoids, lighting crotch and stretch marks, braxton hicks multiple times a day every single day from 15 weeks, leaking through my uniform at work, an overly full bladder and more gas in just 7 months than the past 19 years of my life combined. Dry retching at every smell and texture, dizziness and fatigue, weight gain, itchy ankles, swelling from head to toe, dry skin, a broken tooth and acid reflux so severe I would wake up choking in the night – not how I pictured my 20th year.
Nonetheless, I wasn’t ready for my pregnancy to end when it did – I had begun maternity leave just 4 days prior, and was hospitalized one afternoon following a blood pressure reading of 159/97. I was a healthy, 20 year old with no prior concerns, especially pertaining to blood pressure, so all these sudden symptoms were unknown to me. But looking back now, there were many indicators that I was unwell and I wish I had reached out sooner.
Giving birth to twins: Upon admission, half an hour after my first reading, I was up to 180/110. Everything happened so quickly – I’d never had an IV in my life, now I had three cannulas in just an hour. Urine tests, CGTs, a blood pressure band squeezing my swollen arm, steroids and blood pressure medications, an awful migraine, and not a single moment alone. Then 2 days later, 24 hours of mag, suffering eclamptic seizures on my own, blood pressure surpassing 230/130, spinal taps, an emergency c-section, nurses milking me like a farmer’s market cow, and my own strange postpartum craving for milk, just glass after glass after glass.
Raising twins in your 20s: I juggled work and two newborns – Fortunately I live nearby to my workplace and was able to return home every day for my breaks to pump for them. And despite working full-time, my babies were breastfed for 15 months. It was awfully difficult, I won’t lie, but it did teach me some incredible lessons and showed me just how persistent and hard-working I am.
I enjoy cooking so much more now, especially since watching my little ones’ faces light up as they enjoy their home-cooked meal. Cooking is fun, and I love trying new recipes and learning new skills – whereas I didn’t have many hobbies before.
I keep on top of the cleaning and laundry, something that very much went neglected prior to having kids – they’ve taught me to manage my time better, and to value a tidy home. Now that there are two little ones roaming the house, even on my worst days, they motivate me to make it happen because that’s what they deserve.
My body after having twins: I had more problems with my body before having kids than I do now – I was constantly critical of my weight, pedantic if the number jumped just a tad, and I was upset over small stretch marks, acne and body hair. And we all know, our bodies are never the same once we have kids – but thats not a bad thing.
I love my body now; this body created life, two of them.. at once! It was creases and crinkles, acne and scars, weird little bumps and loose skin, and a linea that is still so faint after nearly 2 years – feels like I should name it, but I might get overly attached; and my belly button, it’s not so much a button anymore, but we won’t get into that.
But you see, all these marks, they’re very special to me. If I woke up tomorrow and they were all gone, I would be heartbroken. And there has definitely been a lesson in self-appreciation learnt through these new additions to my body. A lesson I don’t think I would have learnt without them. I spend more time outside, I feel more alive and energetic – we go to the playground, and on walks through the park – we have picnics, pluck flowers and pick up bugs – we feel the sun on our skin and the rain on our toes.
What having twins in your 20s has taught me: Another lesson that having twins in your 20s has taught me is to care less about what others think. We go out and eat ice-cream in public, they get it everywhere, from chin to toe and all inbetween. They’re loud and proud, they walk up to other parents at the playground and start blabbering, they run around mad and chase the ducks, they jump in water and get oh so messy, and I don’t care. They’re having fun, we’re having fun, and no passerby’s judgment or side glare will stop us from having the time of our lives.
Plus, it’s awfully healing to my inner child to be able to give them the kind of childhood that I wish I had – filled with exploration, and the freedom to make messes, fall over, play and make friends, touch this and chew that. I learnt to not hover over them, but rather watch with a keen eye and allow them to learn through their own experiences.
Source: pregnancyvideo
